I remember as a child dreaming of falling in love. I suppose that is true for most of us in this modern time, having been taught to believe in a romantic love in which we would find happiness and purpose. Sufis call the sacred “The Beloved”. I have always found this to be a beautiful expression. However, I now realize that we must find the beloved within ourselves. If we do not find it in our own heart and radiate love outwards, we find an enemy even in those we love the most.
We must love ourselves to truly love others. Not only the self we know ourselves to currently be,but far beyond. We must love ourselves in every potential path of being. The potential of success, loving and being loved, and also the path of loss and grief. In many ways we may feel more actual intensity in what we fear and would avoid than in what we love. We hold our fears closer to us than we hold what we love. As a result, our love becomes a new pathway for fear.
Learn to love yourself in every possible path of your life. Do not focus in resistance, because resistance always must have another to resist. Your whole life is inside of you. All of your experiences and everyone you know of are part of your life. Love it all and them all, even what you do not want. It is all part of you.
Hating is like standing on top of a board, digging your fingers underneath and attempting to lift yourself off the ground. No matter how hard you strain, you cannot get away from that which you hate. You cannot have good health by hating illness. You cannot love your life and hate your death.
Find joy in your life, no matter how long it is. Every life is a complete story. Longevity has its place, but not over quality. The future healthy you does not need love more than the self that will eventually deal with illness and death. This is the essence of positive indifference. It’s all good, even if it sucks. Grief is the price of love, and true love is always worth the price