My Life Right Now

I love being a father, to have an opportunity to see a wonderful person in the midst of their childhood is truly the greatest gift I have experienced. It is amazing and illuminating. It is strange in a way that has made me more self conscious as I became more conscious of my daughter. I wanted to grow, to become a better person. In connecting to wanting to be better for her I found wanting to be better for myself. That if I am not meeting my standards for myself, I cannot meet them for anyone else.

So I want to be better for myself. Really it means for all of us, because as within so be without. By truly looking to myself before I look to the world I can live from my deepest values without having them warped. Just as a person knows when music is off pitch, so too they know what does not feel right if human beings, animals or the land itself is mistreated. 

I am at the perfect point of my life because for the first time I realize the importance of checking with my inner guidance before looking to the world. The ethics of the world changes. I am interested in what my standards are, and how I can connect to them in a changing world.

By Calming myself I can let my inner guidance lead. Connected to the subtle I find answers beyond my understanding. I am at the perfect point of my life because I can see the edge of it’s horizon and know I must make peace with my own fate. Amor Fati. Love of fate. Even as I am troubled I can see that I am where I need to be. The leaves are vivid and birds are the sound of joy. Or of the dehumidifier as the case may actually be. 

It gives the gift of looking deeply into one of the dog members of my family. I see the deep peace that looks from the darkness of her eyes, and the love and acceptance we have for each other. I see that as I am more at peace with myself animals are more at peace with me. And sometimes sitting with my dog is all I need to know. Even with all the hurt I feel.This is my life right now. Perfect.