We Can Be Heroes

I have known many who grew up with tremendous poverty. it existed in the back of their mind as something that scarred their childhoods. Whether it be as sharecroppers in Mississippi or as so many who grew up in the Depression there are certain experiences that stay with them both good and bad. 

I grew up in a poverty of kindness. Early in my life, 1972, I was desperate for mentorship. I watched the TV show Kung Fu which started my odyssey of exploration. I quickly was reading books on these different miracle philosophies that gave me hope in the midst of hopelessness. Studying books like “The Way Of Zen” by Alan Watts made me feel there was beauty when I was afraid of what might happen in the next moment or the next morning. Books like this, as addition to biographies of heroes such as Bayard Rustin had great effect. Even the comic books, pulp and science fiction helped to create a self image I was working to build.

At one point I began to write down all the things I imagined an adult self would be doing with his day.  I wrote a list of every single thing I could imagine that man doing, and I began to chart how often I would do those things. That process is the DNA of what I do now. I still build on the framework of what I did then. Bit by bit I created the game that I play to this day. It is a game of focusing on what I do rather than what happens to me. I figured if I did I would become that man.

In many ways I would not live up to who I hoped I would be. Even as an unusual child I still had a childish perspective. I know that I would be proud of how I have worked to improve. I know I would be grateful to know that I work to forgive myself for the mistakes I have made, and the burning dedication I feel to be part of positive change. I am certainly fatter than I thought I would be. However I have learned to be far less afraid of fear. Becoming more kind makes me the hero I really wanted to be. 

Perhaps we should all revisit our childhood and the heroes we hope we would become. Clearly it must be an updated vision, and one that allows the realities of life. We are most likely all not the superficial image of what we hoped. Better than that, we can be the living embodiment of our childhood dream. Today.