Dy 18 - Non - Linear Deescalation

As many know one of the most important elements in my mind is to have a good sense of what to do in any crisis. These moments often come up unexpectedly, but even when we have warning certain situations are so charged for us that even if we have been through a situation a thousand times before, every time is as painful, and perhaps even more so than the first time.

In these situations I feel that it is of vital importance to understand non-linear deescalation, and to the root of which is calming ourselves. If we can be stillness in the eye of the storm, genius will whisper in our ear and a worst case scenario is transformed. Being ostracized becomes our path for compassion, and our pain is transformed from futility to that which we can support those who have similar experience.

Non-linear deescalation occurs when you create surprise in the midst of the deescalation. The person you are working to deescalate is surprised, and as a result loses sight of the framing that has them hypnotized into attacking you. The best deescalation surprises yourself as well. When you can do or say something or even do nothing at all in a way that  surprises you both you have a great chance for non- linear deescalation. 

This is challenging. It is sort of like telling a joke in which  you do not know the punchline. By absorbing your attention in the deescalation template, you free up space. When we feel rage, fear or disrespect the last thing we want to do is let go of the object of our attention. By activating the deescalation template we create release so the winds of genius can flow freely. 

All four elements of the deescalation template are equally important. Slow your breathing. Drop awareness into your lower abdomen. Widen your awareness. Finally, the first among equals; say the phrase I Am. This is non - linear deescalation and will serve to solve conflict with no winners or losers. Just us.