Hunger

I recently saw a documentary about an actor who was described as having a look of hunger, as though he missed something in life, and meant to get it. He had an intensity that burned in his eyes. Like most of us whose fire burns, his eventually consumed him, but for a while he burned brightly and lit the stage for all of us. This is bound to happen when we burn with impure fuel, when hatred or with unclear goals for the wrong reasons.

I burn brightly. I missed something in life. I lived a life of fear, with deep feelings of inferiority and sense of persecution. Life was gray except when it burst into the technicolor of fear. I missed the of joy of living and subsisted on judgement: I fed off of others judging me, me judging others, and then me judging myself.

I burn with hunger. A hunger for peace and the grace of joy. I feel the intensity as much as any man or woman for their goal, but now I know the goal is already achieved,. It was achieved the first moment that I chose the path of awakening(or when that path chose me). I burn with a fire that purifies rather than destroys, an unconditional love for the multiverse, the path of all paths.

Mine is a life of practice, of joy. It expresses itself everyday both in success and failure, so deep that there is no failure. There may be falling short, but in aiming for the sky I receive my inheritance: the infinite. I am bigger than my fears; stronger than my frailty, and infinitely more vast than any hatred. I am bigger than my story.