Be Very Clear
I have been pretty down today. I am very disciplined at not looking at the news very often. I recognize an addictive quality in my profound disappointment in how I see our elected officials behaving, and the intolerance of so many of our fellow human beings. I often have moments of despair, but I am extremely good at interrupting the rhythm of negative flows. I have always said that I am like one of those trick candles that goes out, and then pops back on.
However, today the candle of my inspiration has not been so easily relit. I feel that same feeling that many of us are experiencing with the news of the day. The effects of issues on the macro, along with the challenges of everyday life, and the process of aging can be profound. I feel my own experience of existential fatigue.
Even with these feelings and the seductive quality of them, I am doing the work. Do not get it twisted; I am experiencing despair. I know that part of it is the collective loss of faith. I may get confused, but in doing the work - in keeping my internal eye on my own values I connect with the deeper flame. It is a flame that cannot be blown out. It is a flame that lights my way, and reminds me that we are good.
I can get confused. I may even take an occasional break from my commitment. However, I always come back. I remind myself of a myriad of ways to practice and study. I connect to people in my community and remember that we depend on each other. When my flame appears to go out they help to remind me that I am bigger than my challenges. Be very clear; you are too.