Never Argue With A Fool

This is the quote attributed to Mark Twain. I am struck by it, as I see so much argument, and feel drawn to taking part. I find it confusing, because I wonder what the purpose is. Why do we have these arguments? What is the point? Is it to prove that we are right? Is it to come to truth? Perhaps we each believe we know what is true and are working to bring it to light. However, just as the legal system, what I tend to see are individuals looking to win the argument at all costs. Not to prove what is right, but to prove we are right.

Twain is further quoted “Never argue with an idiot. You’ll never convince the idiot that you are correct, and bystanders will not be able to tell who is who.” This resonates. I am not interested in falling into pointless argument. I certainly have strong beliefs. However I suspect that we entrench those we would look to persuade. The intensity that we attack others is the mortar that cements the wall between us.

There are powerful disagreements and important issues to be worked out. I suggest that as we have these discussions that we do not mistake the point of the argument. If we are going to get others to be open to what we know is true we must spend as much time listening as speaking. This provides connections and the opportunity to persuade.

If we are closed, like an actor who is simply waiting to say their line without listening to the other players, we will give a poor performance, and make things worse rather than better.. Instead of looking to calm we will inflame. Instead of influencing others as to the evils of war we will encourage attack. Be clear as to your goal in argument. 

Do not have an argument with someone you want to insult, or who wants to insult you. When I worked in mental health I used to say that the difference between myself and those locked on the unit was not that what I believed was necessarily right, but I could resist telling others what I believed, and knew who not to express my beliefs to. Do not argue with a fool. You may prove yourself to be one.