Heads Or Tails?

You flip a coin and bet all that is sacred to you, all that is valuable. Would you do it? Would you flip that coin. I can imagine flipping in the air, seemingly in slow motion because of the stakes at risk. If you look closely you may catch a glimpse of each side as it flips, heads, tails, head, tails. Putting everything into it, we may even find ourselves attempting to will the side we want to come up. When it lands it begins to spin with crazy speed, and slowly, slowly slows down. One side looks like it will be the victor when suddenly a crack in the pavement changes its direction and it flips to the other side. 

Can you imagine the stress of waiting for that roll? It makes some want to cheat, use a weighted coin to ensure so that it falls their way. But you can only cheat this game so far, and the unexpected is never far away. The fear we become addicted to, the anger that comes in response to the fear, and the disrespect we exhibit in relation to the anger. We devastate our deepest values, telling ourselves we are doing what is necessary to keep ourselves safe. However, time is not as it appears. It is variable, running at different speeds at different times of our lives.

As children the summers are a lifetime. As we grow older and hopefully mature the decades become like summers, quickly passing. There is some part of ourselves that we are only faintly aware of that does not age. It is there, always the same. When older people pass out of this world they almost always say they feel the same inside, still feeling like an eighteen year old. Our bodies  age, but essentially we do not.

This puts us in a tough position because as we grow older we come closer to the self that does not age, the self that lives our whole lives in a blink of the eye. Imagine the stress of watching the coin flip, terrified with every flicker of the side we do not want.  This is much the way we live life, popping out of bed to see how the stocks are doing, how things are going, how many are suffering through dealing with this disease, the actual physical disease, but also the hidden repercussions, most of which are not evident in the moment. 

It is time to discover a place of safety within you, closer to your true self. This deeply recessed part of you will not scream in outrage about injustice, or cry out in anguish at the death of someone you love, or the country you love turning against its deepest values. It stands strong in setting limits but  can accept what is. It has a deep love for you and the life you live. It looks out of your eyes with serene vision, and knows that all is good. It loves you with unconditional love and does not fear death or change. It is sublime and subtle. Do not lose it in dramatic events. No matter heads or tails, unconditional love shines on you all the same. I Am. 

This is the 10th day of the 40 days.